The Wills Of Generation X
by Kairi 'Shadow Sage' Taylor
Summary: UPDATED!! Inspiered by Kaen-Chan's 'The Wills of The Gundam Pilots', a series of wills featuring your favorite Gen-Xer's!! Up now, Paige's will
1. Chapter 1 (Jubilee)

The Wills of Generation X (And Various Allies.)

By Kairi Taylor

This was inspired by Kaen-Chan's 'The Wills of the Gundam Pilots', a very funny series of stories. What follows is what certain individuals would possibly write in their last testaments to their buddies. This will follow the 'No Need For Hama!' continuity as well. So enjoy. Oh, yes, there WILL be OOC aplenty.

The Last Will & Testament of Jubilation Lee

Yo!! If you're reading this, than it's most likely that I'm pushing up daisies!! Yeah, like I'll stay dead for long if Marvel's got any say in this. But then again, those assholes killed off Ev…Ah hell with them. Well, anyhoo, what follows is my last thoughts to my fellow numbsk---er teammates, as well as what to do with my stuff.

Jono- A piece of advice…GET OVER THAT BLOND BITCH ALREADY!!! C'mon dude you're taking this WAY too seriously. If Paige is stupid enough to get involved with that asshole, then she deserves whatever God has in store for her. Dude you're talented at the guitar, girls totally dig you (even though you have half a face) & you got kick ass powers. If I wasn't already dating Ryoga, I'd bed ya in a second!! I leave you all my Korn music CD's as well as my secret stash of detailed pranks you could pull on Paige.

Paige- TRISTIAN FUCKING BRAWN?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GODDAMN MARIJUANA WERE YOU SMOKING?! The mook blackmails us to get a date with you, his grand pappy killed my parents & you still wanna kiss him!! Next leader of the X-Men my Chinese ass. Oh yes, do you remember all those times you woke me up to the tunes of your 5 in the morning workout? I 'really' appreciated it. I leave you with nothing. Yes, NOTHING…wait that's you cruel. You get the video of me placing live fire ants in Tristian's gloves.

Angelo- If there was one word that I could use to describe you, it's lacking. Yes, the truth is your wardrobe sucks tremendous ass. Don't let me remind you of that outfit you wore to the dance awhile back with Monet. Damn doesn't even begin to describe it. I leave you with a credit card with a $5000 limit and a wardrobe I picked out myself. Trust me.

Monet- I will not use the word 'bitch' to describe you. That is because attached to this will is my thesis to Frosty on why you are a manipulative, self absorbing bitch. It's 30 pages long. I can't believe you ended up with Ev. I feel sorry for him; the last girl he ever kissed & it had to be your ice-cold lips. Dear God I pray you didn't seduce him. I leave you with the book I wrote that should be published soon-'How To Get That 10 Foot Stick Out Of Your Ass.'

And to the rest of our pals who are reading this.

Ranma- I think it's obvious that you & Akane love each other. But for the love of all things holy, THINK before you open you mouth. I doubt very much you enjoy being launched into the atmosphere or enjoy being walloped by various pieces of furniture, but calling the girl you love a tomboy, as well as various other names, don't help. I leave you with a lifetime supply of First Aid Kits, as well as a list of how to pacify Akane-you'll need it.

Tenchi-Here's a piece of advice-PICK RYOKO. She's more than qualified to be your girlfriend—I mean let's face it how many times has she saved your life? Besides, if you do not pick her, she will SO kick your puny ass. I leave you with a book of love poems & a Toyota. You know, to give you a head start in case you don't listen to my advice.

Yuffie- I'm begging you girl, STOP STALKING KAIRI !! You're almost as bad as Relena Peacecraft!! I'm pretty sure that if Kairi got a hold of Gundam Wing Zero 1 & you said 'Why won't you come & kill me?' he'll shoot you without batting an eye. For God's sake, he's already started saying 'Omae O Korosu' to Angelo!!! He's also started talking in a monotone voice & every time he completes a story he says 'Mission Complete' ….I leave you with some Prozac & a pamphlet called 'Why Stalking The One You Love Is A Bad Thing'.

Kairi- You've actually done more good things for me than bad…almost. Don't let me remind you of the incident with those damn zombies. Anyway, some advice-DATE. Dating's good, trust me. Any other guy would be happy that a cute girl is after them. YOU, on the other hand….let's just say a certain someone who shall remain nameless started a rumor that you're rather fruity---OK, put the mallet down & leave Angelo alone. Also, learn to stop resolving 85% of your problems with swift & blinding violence. You're just as bad as Akane. I leave you with my Dreamcast, all my games & my pet Pichu. Use these gifts well. And pick a girl for God's sake.

Tristian- There is one regret I have-not killing your pasty white pimply ass when I had the chance!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!? Just when Paige & Jono were about to try to resolve their problems, YOU came in. There's other ways of getting a girl to go out with you, shit for brains! Goddamnit, if Sean allowed us to totally kill anyone who learned we are mutants, I would have ripped your intestines out & sold them as sausages on the black market. Anyway, DO NOT go near my casket. STAY AWAY from my grave. I leave your punk ass with one thing-a piece of celery. Well ok, if my plan came through 'Heero' Taylor should be behind you with a shotgun aimed at your head right now….

As for my jacket & sunglasses, I wish them to be displayed at the guild so that everyone can see what a kick ass hero should wear. My roller blades on the other hand will be destroyed immediately, along with my permanent records. I'll be damned if Emma spends the rest of her life gloating over my bad grades. That's all. Until I see you again one day (If I'm lucky, certain people will end up in Hell with Tristian instead of me.) Adios!!

Stay tuned for the Will Of Jonothon Starsmore!!!


	2. Chapter 2 (Jono)

The Wills Of Generation X

Part 2: Jonothon Starsmore

By Kairi Taylor

All right kids, here we go, the next will features everyone's favorite brooding mutant, Chamber. OK, as usual, I don't own them. There will be OOC aplenty. There happy?

# The Last Will And Testament Of Jonothon Starsmore

I have now officially passed on to the next life. Yes, it seems sad. But at least now I have a full face again. YES!!! Bring on the cute angels. Anyway, here's a list of things I wish to say & give to my friends & family.

Jubilee: I have been lucky enough to never been the target of your very, VERY childish practical jokes. You've actually cheered me up on occasion—which is more than can be said for certain blond know it all team members. I especially enjoyed the boxer shorts prank that you pulled on Tristian. I've had Nabiki tape it & sell it to other school members. Anyway, I leave you my black jacket. You look VERY sexy in black. Trust me. I also leave you with my amps, along with a very detailed plan on how to use them on Paige.

Paige: I wanted to start off this section off the will with the words 'YOU FUCKING GOOSE STEPPING SNOOTY BITCH', but that would be immature. I just know that since I'm dead now, I have the sheer joy of never having to put up with having you flaunt your 'leadership' skills. Woman, Ev has better leadership & tactical skills & the man's dead!! Oh yes, do you know the benefits of being dead? Having my own face again which means YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THE JOY OF LOOKING INTO MY TOTALLY STUDLY FACE AGAIN WITHOUT THE GODDAMNED MASK!! NOW I'M A STUD MAGNET TO ALL THE ANGELS!!! Next leader of the X-Men my English ass. I leave you with 20 bucks. I hear that Cologne's having a special at the Cat Café on humble pie, with a side order of crow & a personality as a free gift.

Angelo: I hate Ricky Martin. I REALLY FUCKING HATE HIM!!! So imagine how I feel every time I hear that shite you play on the damn radio every time we try to study. Still, you knew how to have a good time. But you couldn't dance if your ass was on fire & the only way to put it out was to do the macerana. I leave you with a copy of 'Samba De Amigo'—maybe now you can get something you need seriously, like rhythm & most importantly, SKILL (Kairi totally owned you in 'Street Fighter Alpha 3')

Sean: Despite the fact that we have our differences over the past, I still respect you. I mean, it's kinda hard to believe that we've had so many civilized talks about why exactly any English soccer team could beat the living hell out of Ireland's teams any day of the year. Ok, so playing 'Lord of The Dance' & 'Riverdance' repeatedly in my room nonstop for 48 hours was rather immature, but I still respect you. I leave you with a copy of Dr. McCoy's child psychology book, 'So You Got Drunk, Had Sex With A Co-Worker & Ended Up With A Baby, Now What?' I don'tknow why he wrote it, but it seems like the perfect gift.

To My Dear Family: I leave you all with…ABSOLUTELY JACKSHIT!!!! Do you honestly think that shunning me & kicking me out o' the bloody house would be overlooked when I die? Gee, I wonder if all those years of avoiding me & treating me like a fucking rotting dead terrier has anything to do with it. I'D RATHER DATE PAIGE AGAIN THAN EVER DEAL WITH YOU FUCKING WANKERS!! SEE YOU IN HELL! 

And now for my friends-

Ranma: Pal, the constant beatings are a reminder that a true gentleman would never insult a lady. Then again, being a gentleman was never your best feature. You will find some way to say something nice about Akane without insulting her. Yeah, & Prince Charles will be a good king…So, I leave you with a piece of advice: make like that George Costanza guy & say the opposite of whatever you'll say to Akane. Unless you like getting multiple concussions.

Tenchi: How did a wishy washy guy like you get to choose between 5 women? I barely lift a finger & almost every girl wants to run off with me. Anyway, if you ask me, you should go with Ayeka. C'mon she's very caring towards you, she's not a shabby fight & most importantly SHE'S FILTHY STINKING RICH!!!! For the love of all things holy, choose her. I leave you with a bunch of love songs I made—SOMEBODY needs 'em & it sure as hell isn't me….

Kairi: You're 23 years old & you're STILL afraid of women? Man, I thought Tenchi was bad…Well, being with you I've realized that fan fiction writers aren't all that bad. But some are definitely a little bit insane & I include you in this category. How many times have you broken furniture on Angelo's skull? On the other hand, not that many people can take as much punishment as you have & still have an upbeat attitude. I leave you with my copy of 'The Ultimate Bachelor's Survival Guide' to read until you get a date, which may be a bit longer if you keep running from those two…I also leave you with my wardrobe. You would look very good in black.

Ukyo: You're the only one of Ranma's friends that hasn't caused any major league property damage at all. But you need a boyfriend as badly as this country needs an intelligent leader. You also need to cook something BESIDES okonomiyaki. Trust me, I've done the math, you can corner the market on kidney pie…I leave you with my home recipes (like I ever needed those damn things)

Yuffie: Trust me, chasing Kairi around is not healthy. Neither is glomping onto him every time you see him, dragging him off to the mall or sneaking into his bed every weekend. Let's not forget the 'Onsen Incident'…. I leave you with a Kevlar vest. I swear I heard Kairi mutter 'Omae O Korosu' to Angelo the last time Angelo pulled a prank.

Tristian: You know, I had a long list of reasons why I hate your guts, but the word 'fuck' came up at least 428 times. So you know what? I leave you with Paige. You too DESERVE each other. Now you will experience the joys of hearing her talk about her stupid farm in Kentucky, her annoying little accent when she talks in her sleep, her tales of Fluppy's misadventures, being scrutinized by her brother Cannonball, as well as hear her describe why she'll be the next leader of the X-Men. No, there's no punishment in hell that will match the terror of what you'll have to endure….

As for my guitar…BURN IT!!!! I'LL BE DAMNED IF PAIGE & TRISTIAN LAY A FUCKING FINGER ON IT!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! All the lyrics to my songs will be buried with me as well. Well, farewell until we see each other again (with the exception of my family, Paige & Tristian.)

Coming soon-Monet St. Croix!


	3. Chapter 3 (Monet)

The Wills of Generation X

Pt 3: Monet

By Kairi Taylor

Gee, does anyone ever wonder if Monet would ever give stuff away, even AFTER she kicks the bucket…Oh well. Anyway, they're not mine; beware of OOC, et cetera, et cetera.

# The Last Will & Testament of Monet St. Croix

Yes, as hard to believe it as it is, absolute perfection can & will cease to exist. Now, I know how deeply saddened you all must be at my demise, but then again, it was for your own good. It was extremely hard for you to live up to all the things I have achieved, but now your standards will have to be put at a more accessible level. I will now address all that is to be given to my dear friends & family.

Jubilee: I rather enjoyed our little rivalry. It was just so CUTE seeing you try to compete with me with everything I do, which I always seemed to win at…with the exception of your extremely childish pranks of course. But in the end I did win Everett's heart in 2/3 of the time it took for you to even get him to acknowledge you were attractive. Ah well…still I did find you attractive in your own way (I guess it would be a moot point to reveal now that I am bisexual) {Author's note: Hey, I warned you about OOC, don't even consider trying to flame me!} I leave you with all of my designer clothes & a host of servants to tend to your dressing needs. I want at least one pleasant sight of you a day while I'm in the afterlife.

Paige: Are you daft woman? Letting Tristian take advantage of you like that? There are FAR superior choices in men than that twit, believe me. However, your actions after that situation leave me rather in shock at your ineptitude to handle the crisis properly. In other words, to paraphrase something my dear Jubilee said in a Capcom Vs. SNK match against Mai: "YOU DUMB FUCKING WHORE!!!" Who knows what other blunders you would have made in other situations? Next Leader of The X-Men my Algerian ass! I leave you with a copy of 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu. MAYBE you could learn to be as good a tactical warrior as me.

Angelo: I really can't believe the lack of rhythm you've shown at that dance. I wasn't too embarrassed by your dance moves however, but your attire is well…pitiful. In addition, I believe you have spent far too much time with Nobiyuki-san. Believe me, a lecher like him will get his comeuppance one way or another. I leave you with some of my own personal cars & a copy of 'Dating for Dummies'. I would have given them to Kairi, but after assessing his situation, I've realized you need it more.

Jono: Always brooding, always quiet. I leave you with $90,000, more than enough funds to start your own band. A person with your talent & good graces needs to get out more. You're almost as quiet as Trowa Barton, which is an amazing feat in itself.

Sean & Emma: I leave you two with a mansion in Maine. Now Mrs. Frost-Cassidy, I know you have your own estates, but the one I have given to you is far bigger & much more splendid than your choices in living arrangements. Besides, not only does little H.C. deserve a some space to play in, you need to run somewhere & hide when Sean plays his 'Riverdance' CDs. Enclosed is a blueprint of all the secret passages available.

Akane: Friend, I beg of you, please stop breaking furniture over Ranma-san's cranium. Not every word that comes out of his mouth is an insult. I leave you with an enrollment alongside Jubilee & Kairi in an anger-management class. All three of you are potential time bombs & the costs of replacing furniture has increased significantly with your rather violent tendencies.

Tenchi: Pick Sasami. Otherwise, I have left you with your own apartment in Tokyo. 

Kairi: Not that many writers I've met are as, well _unique_ as you. That is, not that many fanfic writers are violent tempered, scared of women, cursed by Jusenkyo water & gets hurt in some bizarre fashion. My only hope is that you finally become organized & go out with Yuffie. Any other sane male would have gone out with a girl who has shown an interest in you…but then again you are a paradox yourself. I leave you with all the anime I have collected over the years-you know, Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, Magic Knight Rayearth (Yes I did collect other anime besides these Kairi, but those three were my favorite. A complete alphabetical list of my collection is in my desk drawer.) Oh yes, I read a copy of Jubilee's will. I give you a mission: KILL TRISTIAN! That is all.

Yuffie: I believe you should ease up on your stalking. On numerous occasions, Kairi has muttered 'Omae O Korosu' to the McDonald's clerks & has spent far more time typing at laptops & wearing shorts. You might want to ask Relena for stalking tips. Otherwise, I leave you with a Victorian mansion that you & Kairi will live in. I have a strange feeling your father will convince him to marry you anyway….

Tristian: You remind me of Dorothy Catalonia-calculating, mischief causing, and blond. However, while I rather enjoy her company, with you all I can say is I WISH DOROTHY WOULD HAVE STABBED YOU INSTEAD OF POOR QUATRE! GO TO HELL YOU FUCKING TWAT!!! I leave you with these words-'Au Revoir' As of right know Jubilee should be behind you with a chainsaw…

To My Wonderful Sisters: I leave you with a detailed plan on how to effectively torture Larry Hama. After how he screwed up our roles, I believe you two have earned a role in his punishment.

To My Brother Marius St. Croix All I can say is this: SEE YOU IN HELL YOU MOTHER MURDERING BASTARD! Washu should be next to you with a shotgun in 3,2,1….

All my money will be given to my favorite charities. Yes, I can be giving too, damn it. As for my other items, donate them to H.C or someone, as long as Paige doesn't get her hands on them. Give all of my Indigo Girls CDs to Jubilee. (One last mind game before I die, tee hee.) Until I see you all again in the afterlife (But all the same, I'd rather not see Paige & Tristian.)


	4. Chapter 4 (Angelo)

The Wills Of Generation X

Pt. 4: Angelo

By Kairi Taylor

Ok, ok, I don't own 'em. Also, beware of OOC. Anyway, it'll be quite interesting to see what our favorite Latin hero has got to leave to our heroes. Any dialogue that you see is in italics.

The Last Will & Testament Of Angelo Espinosa

-------------------------------------

Hola mi amigos! Looks like it'll be a permanent _Dias de los Muertos_ for me!! I'm betting it was most likely Kairi who did me in. Damn my luck. Well, while I ascend to the gates of heaven to talk with ol' St. Peter, here's what I'm gonna leave to my amigos!!

Jubilee: Girl, you're about as cool as they come. But you've got to lay off the sugar. Seriously. The day you drank 3 whole bottles of Mountain Dew, with all the shit you caused, Emma's hair turned into so many different shades of gray. But those pranks you pulled on Monet & Paige was totally priceless. (But I think M's totally into you. I have a gut feeling she 'swings for both leagues', ok?) I leave you with all my tunes & my Atari. SOMEONE can appreciate my Latino funk.

Paige: I leave you with my old broken gun. MAYBE if you're smart like they say you are, you'll have enough sense to rebuild it & blow Tristian's fucking brains out. Did it ever occur to you chica that compromising our secret identities for a hot date with the 'Blond Weasel' might actually be a stupid thing to do? You could have tried to make up with Jono but NO, you wanted to tick it to him. Besides, who died & made you team captain? Monet & Everett made far more intelligent suggestions than you could think of in five days. Next Leader Of The X-Men my Latino ass.

Jono: Let me tell you one little secret-I FUCKING HATE OASIS! I hate hearing Oasis when you play it while we study & I really fucking hate it when you put it on when we're trying to sleep. I leave you with a membership to the 'Enrico Iglesias Fan Club', so that you'll have an idea of what REAL music should sound like (Author's Note: I think Jono would go postal at this juncture.)

Monet: You are one complex chica. I knew you were smart, I knew you could possibly kick Sabretooth's ass from here to Timbuktu, but getting over Ev…by falling for Jubilee!! I kinda saw it coming…like I said I've got radar for this sorta thing. OK, so I also read your diary & read about all those dreams you had about Jubes. And tape-recorded your conversations at night with Emma. But still…I leave you with some designer jeans & some Birkenstocks. Don't ask where I got the socks, just take them, damn it.

_Monet: Say, Kairi, did you ever learn that 'Resurrection' spell?_

_Kairi: Uh, not yet. Why_

_Monet: Just wondering._

_ _

Sean: I leave you with a book of my favorite nursery rhymes to read to H.C. at night. Gringo, I've seen you get up in the middle of the night before. The last thing anyone needs to see is a bloodshot Irish man awake in the middle of the night. It is not a pretty sight.

Ranma: I leave you with a few cars that I've got leftover. With how you regularly insult your fiancée, you'll need a head start. Of course, with her demeanor, she'll probably just outrun the fucking car. In that case, it's your problem, not mine.

Tenchi: PICK MIHOSHI!! For God's sake, look at her. She's hot man. Ok, so her ability to cause random disasters kinda sucks, but look at who you're living with!! I leave you with my best-looking duds for wooing the ladies. You REALLY need them.

_Tenchi: (Looks over suits) Jubilee, if you will…_

_Jubilee: Already ahead of you (takes out lighter)_

_ _

Yuffie: I think you & Kairi could work out great---that is if you could possibly try to look over the fact that he's kind of terrified of dating, as well as the fact that he's uttered the words 'Omae o Korosu' to me several times. However, I won't tell you what I left you quite yet. It's a surprise. Hee Hee…..

Tristian: Do us all a favor…KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING MORON!! You helped break up the best couple I've seen in years, you think I'm gonna forgive you for that. I leave you with something I think you deserve--A SACK OF DEAD CHIHUAHUAS!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! SEE YOU IN HELL!!!!

(No actual Chihuahuas were killed in the making of this story.)

Kairi: Let's see…you've hit me with numerous blunt objects, sent me to the hospital numerous times, put me in the most embarrassing situations imaginable…oh did I forget the GODDAMNED JUSENKYO CURSE YOU PUT ON ME! So do you know what I did? After pulling a few strings & doing a few imitations…YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY MARRIED TO YUFFIE!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

_Yuffie: YES! (Glomps onto Kairi)_

_Kairi: ANGELO YOU RAT BASTARD!!!_

_Jubilee: Well, what can you do, he's dead._

_Kairi: Not if I got anything to say about it. (Pulls out spell book.)_

_ _

As for the rest of my stuff, well give it to my mom. My uniform will be displayed on a wax figure so that all the ladies can see what a REAL smooth super hero looks like. Well, until we see each other again, adios!!

_Kairi: MY ASS IT'S ADIOS! (Casts 'Resurrection'. Angelo rises from the coffin.)_

_Angelo: Whoa, I'm not dead!! Uh oh, that means…(looks at a glowering Kairi.)_

_Kairi: After all I've ever done…after all the times I've bailed you out of a jam…even AFTER I forgave you for the 'Onsen Incident'…THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME! (Takes out a large, glowing mallet with a skull drawn on it.)_

_Angelo: Uh, couldn't you let me stay dead!!_

_Kairi: AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED YOUR ASS IS FAR FROM DEAD!! PREPARE FOR FIVE YEARS OF MALLET INDUCED DAILY RETRIBUTION!!!!_

_Angelo: Ack!! (Runs quickly as Kairi gives chase.)_

_Jubilee: Somehow, I saw this coming a mile away._

_ _

Up next: Paige!!


	5. Chapter 5: Paige

The Wills Of Generation X-Paige

The Wills Of Generation X-Paige

By Kairi Taylor

Disclaimer: I don't.

Lately, I've noticed that whenever any of the team members mention Paige, they have quite a few negative things to say. I have nothing agaist Paige, as she's a very helpful person…but hey, SOMEONE has kinda screwed up many times in the past. I mean COME ON, Tristian? What was the writer on? Anyway, here's her will. Since I like the idea, all dialogue will be in italics.

The Last Will & Testament Of Paige Guthrie 

Howdy y'all! Well, I've finally gone to that great Danger Room in the sky. As I laugh at your misfortune of losing me (Yes, you read right!) I leave you with a few thoughts & items to remember my glory by.

Jubilee: GROW UP!! I tire of hearing you complain about my morning workouts. Yet, you're abetter gymanist than me. How can such an immature, suger crazed, low self esteem mallrat such as yourself be in as good shape as me? You know something else, all that stuff about being in the X-Men really pissed me off too. OK, so you were in the X-Men, so you faced off with nefarious super villains, I GET IT!!! No wonder they sent you here. There's a reason why I'LL be the next leader of the X-Men. I leave you with all my school books. Like you really would use them anyway…

Jubilee: Kairi, are you still trying to learn that 'Resurrection spell? 'Cause I just thought up of five reasons why you don't need to resurrect HER!!

Kairi: Bear with it.

Jono: All I can say is this….HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TRISTIAN GOT TO THIRD BASE WITH ME & YOU DIDN'T!!! TAKE THAT YOU BROODING ENGLISH BASTARD!!! Just to let you know, upon becoming the next leader of the X-Men, your Prodigy worshiping asswould have been kicked out of the team in the first second! I leave you with my picture I took with Tristian at our most romantic date. Ha, suck on that!! 

Jono: If there is a God, she would not be in Heaven when I die 

_Monet: Agreed._

_ _

Monet: Look, little miss perfect, if you thought you were better than me in any way shape or form, you are SO sadly mistaken. My intelligence is far more advanced than yours. I have more leadership qualities in my pinkie toe than you. At least my family is not as dysfunctional as yours. I leave you with some guest seats on Jerry Springer.

Monet: This is becoming more of a ego trip than a final statement.

_Kairi: You should see what she wrote to Sean & Emma_

_ _

Sean & Emma: I cannot imagine a worse pairing of parents than you two. Little H.C. will be severely warped beyond repair with you two. Although she has no chance of being the next leader of the X-Men like me, she does seem to have her future set…with Hideo. KAIRI'S son. I fear for her. I leave you two with nothing but for H.C….some advice: DON'T EVER BECOME AS SCREWED UP AS YOUR PARENTS OR YOUR FUTURE FATHER IN LAW!!

Emma: Spiteful little gnome, wasn't she? 

Kairi: Well, I won't be using this anytime soon. (Throws out spellbook.)

Angelo: I know you & Nabiki were selling pictures of me in the shower, you perverted bastard. Let's just say that any chance of you ever becoming a leader (like myself) is like Kairi getting hitched to Yuffie: IT AIN'T FUCKING HAPPENING!! You get nothing. Yes, puissant, NOTHING!!!

Angelo: Why that blonde…

Yuffie: Where'd I put that shovel at? I think that we should bury her…AT MOUNT TRASHMORE!!!

Ranma: Some advice: JUST SHUT UP. Do Akane a favor & don't even open your mouth. You'll be doing yourself (& everyone else) a favor if you just SHUT THE HELL UP!!

Ranma: I'm sensing a huge ego trip here.

Tenchi: Get a clue & pick Kiyone! She's level headed, career minded & best of all SHE ISN'T AS BITCHY AS RYOKO & AYEKA!!!

Ryoko: Yuffie, about that idea…I'M WITH YOU (Holds up shovel along with Ayeka)

Ayeka: Likewise.

Yuffie & Ukyo: Trust me, Kairi is so insecure he couldn't hold a girls hand without going into cardiac arrest. Leave that weenie alone & get a real man! He's a stupid writer, for God's sake!! He has no real desirability at all. CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE!!!

Yuffie: How about no? (grabs Kairi.)

Ukyo: Someone needs her prozac.

Kairi: Fuck off. You get nothing from me especially after what you did to Tristian. I seriously hope you get over that fear of women you have. While we're at it, stop dropping all sorts of blunt objects on Tristian. Angelo is a far better target. And do let up on all those cursewords. In addtion…

Kairi: Why the fuck does her words to me go on for 81 pages?! What did I ever do to her?

Jubilee: Beats me. But shit, all of this talk in your section about being next leader of the X-Men…I'm surprised her swelled head fit in this coffin!

Monet: She's almost as bad as Wufei.

Wufei: INJUS---

Monet: Shut up.

Tristian: As the only man who has ever nearly scored with me, I leave you with some advice---GE THE FUCKOUTTA THERE RIGHT NOW!! ALL THOSE LUNATICS ARE GONNA KILL YOU!! RUN MUTHAFUCKER RUN LIKE A CRACKHEAD ON SPEED DRINKING 20 GALLONS OF COFFEE!!

Tristian (Sees Kairi & Jubilee armed with guns.): SHIT!! (Jumps out of window.)

Kairi: Did he know the office was on the 78th floor of this building?

Jubilee: Guess not.

I wish to buried with my dear Fluppy. Because quite frankly none of you bastards are worthy of touching him. All of my uniforms will be displayed in the guild so that everyone will know what a future leader should wear. Well, until we see each other again, which hopefully is a very, EXTREMELY long ways off.

Kairi: You know there's a moral for this?

Jubilee: You mean specify whether or not you wish to be buried or cremated?

Monet: Exactly. Jubilee, get the flamethrower!

Up Next: The rest!!


End file.
